Dating in DC can be…interesting. I’ve had many absurd situations but one of my favorites was Breakfast Date. It went something like this:
I met a guy and we decided to go out. Then as we are making plans, he says “Want to meet for coffee tomorrow morning?”
Hmm. Never had a Saturday Morning date, but sure.
Then he says – in Woodbridge? Where he lives. Far from where I live, in DC-metro terms. So the Southern Belle part of me rises up to say “um, I’m the girl, I’m not driving to you” but I get ragged on by my friends for being too picky so I think: It’s ok, I’ll give this guy a chance.... Even though he’s wrong.
Then I passive-aggressively try to change his mind.
I say something like “Oh, haha, well I don’t really know that area well since it’s like 40 minutes away so just let me know where to go”
He doesn’t get the hint. And he says Panera. How romantic.
So I’m like “oh, ok, sure...I'll google it..." *grinning through gritted teeth*
So he sends me his OWN form of directions and it goes something like this:
Take this exit, go fifteen miles, it’s on the left.
I get off the exit. It’s 1 mile. On the right.
So I text him like “Are there two Paneras?” And again, he doesn’t even get it and after I explain where I went, he’s all “Yeah. That’s the one.” No apology. No acknowledgement that he was trying to send me deeper into suburbs where I don’t belong.
When I get there, he gets out of his car and immediately tells me he was listening to renaissance music and that he loves renaissance fairs. Neat. Already have bad feelings about this.
And I quickly regret listening to my friends’ voices in my head and vow to return to my picky ways and gut instincts. This is so not going to be worth the drive.
But at least he’s attractive. And tall. Very important because I’m 5’8 and men in DC are shorter than that. ALL OF THEM.
And quick related side note here: I’ve joked with my other tall friends about how people will just randomly say “You’re tall!” Like, what do you say to that? "You have two eyes!" or "Thank you..?"
Anyway, Breakfast Date and I get our coffee and pastries – he pays at least – and we’re making conversation and he knows I sang in a band. And here’s how the date went after that.
- He asked me about singing in a band no less than four times, kept steering the conversation back to that, and finally asked if he could find videos online of me singing.
- He asked if we sang any Pat Benetar. Then proceeded to hum/sing Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
- He asked if we sang Free Bird
-He asked what my favorite song was and when I said "Starlight" by Muse, he said "like, ‘Starlight, Starbright’?" The nursery rhyme....
- I learn he has a baby-mama and an 8 year old in New York.
- We talked about travel and he said he was giant in Korea. When we got up to leave, no joke, he says:
“You’re tall!”
And I just reply "Yep. I'd be a giant in Korea...." and walk to my car and never talk to him again.
