Disclaimer: This post is not a reflection of my current role, or any one specific role at all.

I feel very blessed that I’ve typically enjoyed work but trust me there have been times when I absolutely loathed the job I was in at the time. I know how that can wreak havoc across your entire life.

I know the panic and desperation of feeling like you’re a trapped animal and can’t find an escape fast enough.
I know what it feels like to have a visceral reaction of nausea and disdain when a certain coworker or supervisor enters the room.
I know the feeling of complete boredom and discomfort that comes when you are put in a role that doesn’t align with your skillset or interests.

If you are feeling any of this right now, I’m sorry.

I think you should work towards finding a different job but in the meantime (because I don’t condone leaving a job until you find another one unless it’s absolutely affecting your health and well-being), here are some tricks I’ve used when I was in a place I didn’t want to be.

1. Make it a game: Amuse yourself when you feel undervalued at work.

Instead of dragging your feet and sitting sullenly in your desk to convey how unhappy you are, or instead of just soaking in the “this is awful, I hate it” feelings, make up games you can play to get through the day, such as:

How sugary sweet can I be to the people I secretly want to lock in a hot port-o-john?
How fast can I get this task done?
How many times will the boss say “utilize” today?

In other words, do something that makes you feel like you still have some sort of control. Supervisors and coworkers can do a lot to you in a job, but they can’t take your mind. Amuse yourself with your own thoughts and let yourself feel glee because you know you are secretly working to get out of that place. (and then seriously, secretly work to get out of that place.)

2. Find a side-hustle: do work you’re passionate about, build your skills, and improve your resume

Volunteer to use a skill to serve a non-profit, or a school, etc. These places always need free help, and you will build your experience while fulfilling yourself creatively. Then add that experience to your resume!
Take a class.
Join a group.
Find a freelance gig on Craigslist. (This is how I may or may not have ended up moonlighting as a cover band singer in D.C. for four years when I was bored at my job.)

Do something to fulfill the parts of you that are not being fulfilled in your job to keep yourself going in the meantime.

3. Change your perspective on the awful tasks in your job

I’ll admit I’ve been in roles where I felt … indignant. Where my pride rose up and I felt like my true talents just weren’t being seen. Usually I got bored and struggled to even do the tasks assigned to me because I just couldn’t get myself to care enough to focus on them.

But a Navy Chief once said something that stuck with me and has really helped.

I was about to deploy to Afghanistan and he was telling me what to expect about the arduous travel over there.

Basically it takes multiple days of being shuttled like cattle with hundreds of other service members, stopping in various countries along the way to refuel or grab the next available aircraft that can take you the next leg.

During those stops is what’s called “the bag drag.” This is when everyone helps schlep every piece of baggage off the plane, across the flight line, over to storage, and then the process is reversed whenever it’s time to grab the next flight.

…And then the next flight will inevitably be delayed or cancelled so you might drag all that stuff out multiple times just for one plane. Then you do it again at the next stop. And the next. And all this might happen in the middle of the night, or in scorching midday middle eastern temperatures.

The Chief told me a trick to use when I found myself in endless bag drags:

“Just keep telling yourself, ‘This is my job today. This is what
I’m being paid to do.’”

For some reason that unlocked a whole mental shift in me that I’ve used in my career since.

Before that mental shift, if I was doing a task I hated, I would fight the process in my mind the entire time. I’d obsess over how that task could be done so much more efficiently, or why it had to be done at all. I’d make myself miserable by thinking about how miserable the task was.

But hearing that Chief was like a release valve in my brain and I was able to “embrace the suck” as they say in the military. Embracing the Suck just means: don’t bother fighting what’s miserable; just know the task has to be done, and it’s your job that day to do it. Just accept it.

And oh by the way – you are being paid to do it.

So now I may do the exact same miserable task I hated before, but I’m not making it more miserable by thinking about how miserable it is. If that makes sense.

This has really helped at other times in my career when I felt like I was being undervalued and asked to do tasks for clients that felt almost demeaning.

Oh you want me to immediately stop what I’m doing so I can come into your office and stand over your shoulder while you type an email so I can tell you what a good email it was when you’re done? No problem! This is my job today! And you are paying me a lot of money to stand behind you while you type, so thank you for that!

(Yes that happened to me at one project well into my career when I was considered a seasoned strategic communications expert by that point. It was clearly a power move by the client, and he did it to several people, but I knew that project wasn’t going to last much longer so I just did it. And I secretly laughed in my mind at his absurdity and at how much it was costing him to have me just stand there and stroke his ego. So that helped.)

4. Don’t take it personally.

I could write a whole post on the psychology of why hurt people hurt people but for now, I’ll just say: How someone treats you ALWAYS means more about them than it does about you. Bosses who are hateful, demeaning, condescending, etc. have pain inside, I guarantee it. If you can start to look at them like a hurt little kid, it makes it easier to take what they dish out. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem though. Yes, be open to feedback and improve things you may not be doing well. But don’t let anyone make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. There is not. You are just in the wrong job for you.

5. Re-write your job description

I can imagine this may not work everywhere, but at least in the government world and the business worlds I’ve been in, there has always been wiggle-room around what you actually do in your role, regardless of your job title. Heck, I’ve seen friends even change their titles themselves and no one said anything. One just started adding a new title to her signature block.

Talk about “ask forgiveness later instead of asking permission first.” I love it.

Even if you can’t officially change your title, ask if you can put effort towards something outside of your typical duties that you have interest in (as long as you get your job done as well, of course). Finding more things to enjoy in your current job might make it easier to exist there until you find something else. Or you may end up being able to move to a different department altogether once you prove what you’re capable of and you may want to stay.

Moral of the story: In the end, it’s all about mindset and how you look at everything. Your boss may be a big jerkface, you may feel undervalued, someone may even have it out for you and are trying to make you miserable.

But they can’t take your mind.

That’s the one thing they can’t control. Use that power. Play the game knowing who you really are, what you’re really capable of, and know that you aren’t going to stay there for long. If they don’t see your value, that’s their loss, but don’t waste energy trying to change their minds. Just control yours and you will always win.

I hope this helps. Please contact me or leave a comment if you just need to vent! Or if you have some awesome “I quit” story or awful job story to share. :)